Naturally Nunga Nervous | Gina G

Boarding high school brings with it new adventures, experiments and findings that would never cross your mind as an innocent, post grade seven pupil. At least, I found these things were different for me.

There were the usual inter house events that everyone knew about, and then of course the secret achievements that were particular to each individual house. Some had competitions of who could make so-and-so faint the quickest, or who could make the coolest pattern with their deodorant on the cupboards while lighting it before getting busted by the house mistress. Our house was different, not as dangerous, but enough to leave an impression on the newly introduced, innocent participants mind.

The "boob's" competition – as I arrived, I had already won. At 36E I was miles ahead of everyone with my breast size. At that time I was proud of it too.

Both men and women look at bras to be sexy. They must be a temptation to an onlooker who gets past your first layer and be as provocative as possible; otherwise they are simply not purchased. This is the conception that young girls have imprinted in their minds from the first time they pull that tiny flower patterned, beautiful padded bra, off the clothes stand at Woolworths.

I was like that at a stage too; young with hardly anything to show, but insisting I was big enough to wear a bra. That was short lived though and before I knew it, no longer was I hiding when shopping for bras as a little girl and not wanting to be seen. Now I was hiding out of embarrassment of being seen in the "granny" section.

As much as young bras are unique, so are "granny" ones. In complete contrast to the flowery, padded bra, "granny" bras are only ever beige, boring and baroque! Need I mention the underwire that is complimentary of this style?

There is that novel, "Knocked out by Nunga Nunga's", that many of my classmates read on entering high school. I steered clear. Why would I want to read such a novel when all my "nunga, nunga's" ever bought me was pain and a big hole in my mothers' purse?

Would one ever think that those awful "granny" bras cost well above R900 – for one? At these astronomical prices one should be expected to flaunt their "assets" to the world. Yet, it is a standard, no matter if they cost R900 of more, "granny" bras are always beige, boring and baroque and NOT for sale in Woolworths.

From someone who knows best, big "boobs" are overrated and there's no use having competitions over them. I'd take every competition won and return it for the opportunity to wear the sexy, temptious and provocative, small-cupped bras that every woman, and man, dreams of.

shhh...you don't want to be noticed in that section