Change is inevitable « No walk in the park

Change is not a bad occurrence or an isolated one, but when it's unexpected it can get uncomfortable.  I am ok with change and I can live with it.  It is not the first time I've experienced it, and it probably won't be the last that's why I can more easily deal with it than some other of the ones involved.  I have been very busy, I won't lie, but not too busy to notice that some people have completely change their demeanor towards others.  Let me make it very clear that it is no one else's fault but their own, because they have yet to learn how to balance.  It is funny how when looking from a distance, or being a third row spectator one can easily say his/her opinion, but when it comes to us we are clueless.  I have seen how in the last couple of months some people have completely changed.  From caring to not, from being there to complete absenteeism, and from who they were to this completely different person.  The worst part is that when the subject is brought up, it's immediately shut down.  I can see why, but I don't think they can.

Like I said before, change is no one else's fault but of the person that has changed.  I have nothing against change, I think it can be a very positive and enriching experience, the problem lies when that change is so drastic that you loose ALL of who you were.  Why you may wonder? Let me explain.  We make the same mistake when we forget our history, who we are, where we've been, and who has been with us along the way.  By the time we might realize this it might be too late.  Lets hope this is not the case.  I also think that sometimes when we are caught up in the moment, we get defensive, and every little comment we receive, will be interpreted as an attack.  It can be interpreted as an attack to us, to our love interest, to our friends, and even to our family, but in all reality it is just probably the last attempt for the "attacker" to tell us, hey what is going on, why are you so different?

I know that this is the case with some of my friends.  They preach about how we must strive to achieve balance and not let our relationships die out just cause we have new ones (let it be boyfriends or else) but it is not the case once they must find the balance.  Albeit its hard, at the beginning when you want to spend every single spare second with each other, to find balance, but it is also at that moment when we must show others that we care.  Unfortunately it doesn't happen often and then friendships get broken beyond the point of repairing. If all your friends have an opinion that does not necessarily concur with your opinion on the subject, maybe you should hear them out. Worst case scenario they tell you and let it go and if eventually they were right you can count on an I told you so here and there, but at least you know they will always have your back.  Instead of taking it like World War 3 and thinking that they are just bitter, I say hear them out.  Stop thinking everyone has it out for you and all they ever do behind your back is talk about you, because guess what, subjects get boring pretty fast and more than likely they are just truly concerned.

If you don't really care anymore, then just tell them.  Grow a backbone and say "do what you want cause I will too", or say "fuck off", just say it so that they can hear.  Possibly then they will be able to let go of you and stop caring.  It is ridiculous to think that people get the hint, because when someone cares, they don't.  I know to some this entry might sound ridiculous if not dramatic but here's the thing, I see how much some people around me care for others and I also see that the others either genuinely do not care or can not admit they messed it up.  Is loosing a friend worth the fact you can't admit you fucked up? I don't think so.  Will true friends have your back? Always, but that is not the question; the question is do you have theirs?  Have you shown them? Do you care to show them? It is really easy to take the victim's spot and say they don't care to see me happy, or they don't want to give such and such a chance, but are you giving them a chance?  Are you allowing things to flow or just because you feel this is it, this is the one chance, are you forcing the situation?  A lot of times I think people always blame the wrong person, I have had friends that say their friends are blaming their new boyfriend for this or that, when in all reality the one person who is putting the blame in someone other than in themselves is them.  Most people don't like to judge without knowing the new person in the picture, but it is easier for us think they are because that way we can feel they are the ones at fault since they are not even giving it a chance. Taking the blame is harder than we would ever accept, but most of the times we know and our friends know it is our fault.

I think its time to step up the game. Its one thing to pretend that everything is fine, and a whole other one to think everything is. I know I will get people pissed off and probably never be spoken to again, but that's exactly how it is now and since I still think some other relationships can be saved I am stepping up the plate.  I hope that all the parties involved fix their issues cause it would be very sad to see how true friends have completely ruined their friendship just by not stepping up and saying what needs to be said.  I personally don't have anything against anybody regardless of what people can think.  I DON'T CARE! I really don't, so let it go and if you are happy, be happy, but think about it long and hard when it comes to others.  "Cuando el rio suena es por que piedras trae."  Sometimes maybe we should stop and listen.  I am not saying live your life by what others say. Hell no! But pay close attention because spectators can better see what's around since they are not involved.  It is when we completely shut them down that full blown heartbreak comes and by then if they are still there you should consider yourself very grateful, but don't count on it cause that is unpredictable.  If they are not there don't blame them, it was probably your choice because you didn't care to notice how much you were changing, maybe so much that they can't recognize you anymore.  Every coin has two sides, and we must remember that looking from one prevents us from seeing the other. Let's stop blaming others for our mistakes. Change is good or bad, but it is our choice to decide what it is for us.