4/6/11 journal | inoch

Today during lecture, I was really struck by the way Brian Swimme talked about the moon. I have never looked at it like that before. I have always looked at the moon as a reflection of the light from the sun. Swimme reveals that the moon actually creates a light source that is something new and different from the photons coming from the sun. The particles and photons interact when the moons receives them, and then the moon creates something new and radiates out a new light source. So when we view the moon, it is of something that the moon creates. Swimme really shines light on the superficiality of our perception. We need to look underneath the surface and find the depth of ourselves.

Professor Philips explained these two concepts very well by comparing different attributes. For surface, he wrote down appearance, personality, material, economic, instrumental, religiosity, having, and disconnection. He then wrote down a corresponding "depth" attribute for each one respectively: essence, ecological, integral, spiritual development, being, and reverberation. The act of moon creating something new reveals the contrast between the having and being mode. The moon is actively creating light and not just reflecting from the sun passively. Similarly, we cannot just be passively absorbing what others tell us or instill in us. We need to actively engage with the information and stimuli around us, constantly challenging our beliefs and ideas.

We cannot just be like computers, like Swimme said. The technological innovation in modern society trains us to think and become like computers, but we are more than that. We have the ability to integrate and enlighten. We have the capacity to radiate. My experience of radiance is certainly lacking. I have myriad interests and experiences of love from others, but I do not express enough love toward people, only solely toward my family and my girlfriend. I am still too self-centered and I need to expand the compass of my radiance by transcending my surface qualities and integrate my depth attributes.

I particularly struggle with appearance, religiosity, and having. I live in the having mode too much: constantly passively taking in information instead of actively engaging myself with them and challenging them. This flaw is particularly exposed in the practice of my faith. I find myself living in religions too much and seek to follow a lot of the doctrines and the commandments that I always fall short of. My behaviors are often inconsistent with my values and behaviors and I am often suffering from cognitive dissonance. I really need more spiritual development in myself and transcend just the mere practices to a deeper understanding of my faith. Appearance and essence are another things I am having trouble to reconcile with. I succumb to vanity so easily that it is obstructing my path to find my essence. I have a lot of work to do. The daily meditation is helping me a lot in clearing my mind and engaging with the world around me.